it was hard reading the letter u left in the blog. did not know what to feel. Yeah, i don;t treasure frenships and i dun get affected by frenships like u do.

never knew how u thought.

I dun mind u misunderstanding me because u , dun understand me. at all. so, if u accuse me of not treasuring frenships, i dun really mind. u have not knownme at all. so, please do not come to any conclusion and spreading them.

i m actually behind manymany masks. For hotnerds, there will alwaes be the hotnerd mask, for others there will alwaes be the other masks. But, as daniel said, "Most importantly, enjoy urself". his thinking mayb weird since he doesn't care so much, but yes, if i feel happie in wadever i m doing, carry on doing it. If i feel happie being behind masks, i shall be behind masks.

The only time i m away from masks is at nite when i pray to god or when i reflecr. yes i do reflect for ur info.

IT was indeed hurtful to see those things like i have no sense n things like u'd rather not bitch a bt me and make urself the baddie instead. please. i read it on fridae i believe. and luckily no one was near me cos ... u would lik this result. was very disappointed in wad u did. u discussed this sooo openly and made it seem like u have alwaes been the goodie and have alwaes let me hav my wae and then now, u blew up cos u couldnt take wad i m doing. congrats for taking this BIG step out. but sorrie, i decided to take the step out first. u made it seem like u decided everything rite?cos u couldn;t stand me. but, not only u took this step out.i took the step out before u did. however, i din;t step out of hotnerds like wad u did because i treaure hotnerds. But i think u do too but u jus cannot stand me. if i m bad, sae it to my face.since u think i have no feelings or wadsoever, it wun matter. not only have u hurt me, if that;s ur aim, u have made me decide on smth else.

I dunno in wad wae i have betrayed u. u r very childish and naive to think i have betrayed u when i said i disapproved of wad paulin did and then got close to her in the next few daes. Its stupid. i prefer to believe that theres more to this betrayal thing than this. m i rite?

u need oneweek to cool down. i need ten weeks. oh no. i dun need any minute to cool down. i hav no feelings. so i can jus throw this awae and enjoy myself in wadever i m doing. i have everything i want now. and i dun need anything else. i think u think this wae too. it s beter this wae i tink. jason is wrong. i dun need to solve this. and yesh jason, my attitude sucks. i agree, i will try to choose my frens carefully next time and not regret it.

[hsPpg*dingdongpig] is alive

years ago, you felt that life is full of meaningless nothings. but you pretent it means everything. all you saw is black and white. but you decided to colour it yourself. you hated your life. the pathetic life. so you closed yourself up and created your own. you couldn't escape from the beatings. you saw them quarrelling over money. you saw them chasing you awae. you saw them mocking at you. you saw the hypocritical world. you saw yourself crying everydae. you saw yourself becoming more cynical and skeptical. you saw yourself cursing the world. you saw yourself biting your tongue. and finallie, you saw them leaving you. then you start changing. friends changed you. GOD changed you. love changed you. but. you still dont dare to tell anyone about them. you're afraid that they will leave you. you're afraid that they will look at you strangely. but still. you pray that someone can understand you. you knoe there are people whose life may be worse. you wonder if you might meet them. you pray that you would. you pray that someone can get you out of this shadow. and you can do the same.

did you ever want to throw eveeeerything awae? start fresh.. it is impossible. you are stuck with what you are. forever. you are held by the deeds you regret. forever. you cant get rid of what you hate yourself for. you are what you are. why would you wanna change yourself. one dae, you will find the one.

found. i'm alive.